Prioritize
Stop pushing through.
Stop feeling scattered
Get a bird’s eye view of your whole life
Think: “What are the most important things?” “ What are you going to give the most energy and focus to? Choose 5 things.
Tip: Your chosen top priorities might NOT be things you spend the most time on per se.
Most women I work with have identified a dire need to manage their work-life. They are desperate to recoup some time and energy. They need to stop feeling so drained from work. THEN they can make the time and space for other priorities.
At this point- my #1 top priority ALWAYS- is managing my mental health on a daily basis and taking care of my mind because – if I don’t have that, it makes everything hard and impossible. So there’s that.
Side note on Mental Health
Most people think mental health somehow (magically) happens to you if you meditate, exercise and get a spa treatment… NO, Mental health is a SKILL you learn and continually build on. Mental health does not mean you feel happy all the time. We are humans, we WILL, for sure, experience negative emotion. Mental Health just means you are able to manage the circumstances of your life without suffering and burnout.
Please, Don’t Aim for Balance
I’m not a fan of balance. Go ALL IN on your priorities.
That doesn’t mean you forget everything else, it just creates a mindset of focus and commitment in your life. (badassery)
When I was in grad school- THAT was my main priority.
About 3 years ago I (finally) identified a need to prioritize- stopping overeating and stopping binge eating. I had spent ENOUGH time and energy in my life struggling with weight, and being out of control around food. I took a solid year to learn and practice the skills of unconditionally loving my body, and reducing (emotional) hunger and urges around food. What have you spent ENOUGH time and energy struggling with?
Since I purposefully spent time, focus and energy on that area of my life, now, I have the skills. I stopped binge-ing and overeating, and although I continue to work on this- it doesn’t require massive brain energy, so I create new priorities.
Having intentional priorities eventually creates a vacuum of momentum in your life. Instead of having to push through everything, it’s like you are being pulled to the next thing in favor of your future self.
Urgent vs. Important
Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People- talks about identifying where your time goes. Then determining if that time is spent doing important things vs. urgent things. When task appears urgent -doesn’t mean it is important and you need to act in that moment.
Hint: If you have a lot of urgent, unexpected things coming up for you- it means there’s been a lack of planning. That’s where you need to go back and do the front-loading (Part 1 of 5). Literally schedule yourself a planning session.
Here’s what it looks like: You realize you forgot to buy milk so you have to run to the store and deal with that urgent matter which takes time away. Then you get back, need Tylenol. You head to the drug store because it’s quicker but you overpay for it… you see where this is going?- asking for a friend.
Have to’s vs want to’s
Make sure you are telling yourself the whole, honest TRUTH about priorities. Most of my clients tell me, I don’t want to but, I HAVE to work. I HAVE to take care of my kids, I HAVE to pay my bills. My clients say this in a way that makes them feel very trapped in their life- which is highly problematic.
Tell yourself the truth- you don’t HAVE to pay your bills, you don’t HAVE to work, you don’t HAVE to take care of your kids. I know- you want to argue with me here.
The truth: You intentionally choose not to experience the consequences of making that decision, but it IS a choice.
There is nothing you have to do. We are human beings. We have free will. The key point: I CHOOSE to prioritize work, pay bills and take care of my kids.
Try doing the purposeful work of thinking of these “have to’s” in a different way, it’s guaranteed to create better results in your life. (I am a life coach. I can help you with that- it’s not easy, but worth it). Sign up for a free consultation with me.
